25 October 2009

The birds, the bees and the elephant's junk

I wasn't supposed to write a blog post this afternoon. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

I was supposed to post a couple of pictures showing everyone what a great time we had at the N.C. Zoo with Aunt Kari. I was supposed to say We had a great time, take a look! and call it a day. Mail it in for today and then go into some more detail tomorrow, getting two posts for the price of one.

We weren't supposed to see six feet worth of elephant happiness.

We were having a great time walking around the zoo. We toured the North America pavilion, checked out some animals. Kaitlyn walked nearly the entire time; no small feat considering the place is 500 acres and has about five miles of trails.

We were about halfway done with the African pavilion when we made it over to the Watani Grasslands, where the elephants hang (pun intended). And boy, oh boy, did this elephant hang.

Michelle and Aunt Kari couldn't stop watching this poor elephant just flapping in the cool fall air, which apparently doesn't affect his "stature" as it does his human counterparts. There the girls stood, for a good three or four minutes, staring intensely. More scared than anything.

Michelle: It's like a train wreck.

Aunt Kari: I know. I can't move my eyes off it.

Aunt Kari: I feel so bad for those female elephants.

Me: You realize their asses are the size of a Buick, right? It's all relative. (Now, I don't know if female elephants like to swing that way, but you get the idea. I'm going to guess that at one of those watering holes a fertile male elephant can find a promiscuous female willing to "give anything a try once.")

Thank goodness Kaitlyn is old enough to know her animals, yet too young to even start recognizing anything that might be, well, off. And no, we did not take a picture, much to the dismay of Aunt Kari. Apparently she wanted a keepsake.

The elephant in question, post-erection

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