06 December 2009

Most Dangerous Toys 2009, aka "Ruining Christmas for Everyone, Part II"

I thought World Against Toys Causing Harm, Inc.. was the only group of Godless quacks consumer watchdog group we had to worry about this holiday season.

But thanks,, for being the hippie tree huggers most of the world has come to hate. You see, the people of are set to tell consumers everywhere about how the products in their homes cause the Earth to die. Or, according to their PR spin, "GoodGuide provides the world's largest and most reliable source of information on the health, environmental, and social impacts of the products in your home."

And, like the unholy despicable happiness-deprived watchdog group WATCH, these guys want to make sure you and your children are safe from evil toymakers who are out to destroy the world.

And while WATCH targeted such items as a book of numbers and an infant drum set, GoodGuide is going after the biggest of the big boys this holiday season: Zhu-Zhu Pets.

If you're not familiar with these furry little hamsters, they're, well, furry little hamsters. Just mechanical furry little hamsters. And they're going for $10 if you can find them. On eBay, they're five times that amount. One guy's giving you a deal with three for $100. I'm pretty sure you can find a real hamster for, like eight cents. But I digress.

So the people at GoodGuide are now saying that these fake hamsters contain tin and antimony, which causes cancer. According to head tree hugger and hippie GoodGuide co-founder Dara O'Rourke:

"We found levels of about 93 to 106 parts per million," O'Rourke said. "The new federal standard is about 60 parts per million."

I don't know what all that means, and I even tried to Google it. Everything reads like Latin. So either it's really way beyond me, or it really doesn't matter. If this was way beyond me, I don't think you'd ever put it in a children's toy. Unless your from China. Oh wait, Zhu Zhu Pets are made in China. Ouch.


  1. Are there other posts in your blog with the keyword/label "fake hamsters"?

  2. Not yet, but considering the popularity of these things, it might become a very long list

  3. Whilst recognised in its elemental form from around 1450, the natural sulphide of antimony (stibnite) was known in Biblical times, and used extensively in the ancient world as a cosmetic.
    The name for modern eye make-up comes from the town of Mascara in Algeria, where stibnite was reputedly used in this way.
    The name "antimony" comes from two Greek words: 'anti' meaning not and 'monos' meaning alone, which it appears I am not alone in my confusion over why they would put eye-make-up on a Gerbil, even if they are hippies.

  4. Again, the science is Latin to me. Or, more accurately, Arameic, since it's Biblical and all.

    As for rodent eyeliner, that can be justified. Just take a look at Sarah Jessica Parker.

  5. I am curious as to what tests they do. And as a "testing" lab, are they audited by any governing body such as ISO or ASTM? Are their machines calibrated, etc. etc. According to the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act of 2008, all children’s products manufacturers or importers must comply with the CPSIA’s third‐party testing requirements, and those testing labs must be independently accredited to ISO/IEC 17025:2005‐‐General Requirements for the Competence of Testing and Calibration Laboratories. (I would put in some links, but I can't in a reply).

    ISO 17025 accreditation of a laboratory includes an assessment to confirm
    the technical competence of the laboratory for certain testing methods and
    also includes an assessment of a laboratory’s management and
    organization to ensure safeguards against undue influence.

    I have serious doubts as to the technical competence of Goodguide, or to the presence of undue influence. I mean, they would be out of business if they didn't have thsoe to burn in effigy or otherwise.