Skyping your playdates

I remember when I was growing up and we used to run across the street to see our friends, or ride our bikes up the road to another friend's house. There were the few occasions that Mom would drive us to someone's house and we'd play there all day.

Fast forward to today, when many of those interactions are done virtually among today's children. Whether it be IM, text messaging or online gaming, kids today just don't see each other. They might communicate, but they don't interact. I see this as a problem, but apparently I'm not one of the cool kids, which isn't anything new. I mean, you don't get voted "Most Talkative" in high school because they like you, right?

I digress. The cool kids from yesteryear are now the cool parents who are experimenting with video playdates, which is exactly as it sounds -- kids playing with kids via computer modems and monitors. Which isn't really playing as much as watching a really lame reality TV show.

One of the leaders in this new realm of non-playing playdates is Lana Yarosh, a Ph.D. candidate in human-centered computing at Georgia Tech University. She's tinkered with regular video chats for kids, having kids play show-and-tell with multiple cameras and even WWE-style action sequences: "In another [method], playmates share a virtual playpen of sorts, where they see each others' toys and bodies projected onto the floor."

"They were jumping on top of each other. They were having battles. One of the kids said, 'This is a lot of fun and it's actually better than being in the same room because we're not hurting each other.' 

The purpose of these video playdates, Yarosh says, is for "friends to stay in touch when their parents can't drive them to each other's houses or to the park." To her credit, Yarosh does state that video playdates are "more work" because, you know, they're not in the same room. But Yarosh believes the same level of social interaction takes place in these virtual playdates.

The reaction by the masses: Thanks, but no thanks. I tend to agree. One of the highlights of the weekends for us is when Kaitlyn repeatedly asks us who we're going to see that day. It could be Declan-Lilly (they're always combined, I don't know why), it could be Baby E, it might be Sophia. She loves playing with her friends, running around in circles and pushing strollers and playing with dolls and cars and laughing. Lots and lots of laughing.

No matter how busy the schedule is, we'll always make time to bring Kaitlyn to see her friends. The need for interaction is important -- it helps shape who we are, it helps us later in life (see: School) and it creates a fun environment to explore and imagine.

Skype has its place; we love talking to Nana and Pop-Pop and Aunt Debbie, Uncle Chris and Cousin Colin and everyone else who has it. It just doesn't seem like a substitute for human interaction.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my online Scrabble game with Michelle. She's texting me feverishly from the other room because it's my turn. 

Strange(r) things we've learned in the past 31 days

Mission Accomplished. Thirty-one days, thirty-one blog posts. NaBloPoMo, you are finished.

It truly has been a strange(r) journey this last month, filled with good, bad, ugly, cute, awkward and – most definitely – strange. I didn’t miss a single day (thank you, Michelle) and, for the most part, stayed on topic.

Thank goodness for the holiday, since a break from blogging is just what the doctor ordered. Just get to sit back and enjoy some Easter dinner and 85 degree weather in the Carolinas.

So what did we learn?

We learned that Kaitlyn knows Mommy is a girl and Daddy is a boy and Boo-Boo is a dog. We learned about the fifth food group, that Mommy used to rock a leather bomber jacket and Daddy shouldn’t be left alone with Sweet Tea, lemonade and Absolute Citron.

We learned that my child is not only smart, but beautiful and uncoordinated. But most of all, we learned that we can reach our investment goals if we discuss our future with a SunTrust representative.

Strange(r)s in my house: Egg Hunt

I was going to talk about how Michelle and I had about 200 people in our little tiny townhome for an Easter egg hunt, but I feel more compelled to write about my experience writing this blog.

So you know how I normally post a funny little image or something that goes along with the topic I'm writing about? If you don't, well then welcome to Growing Up Kaitlyn. Anywho, I was thinking, What's funnier than having 200 people in our tiny little townhome? so I decided to try and find a clown car image. You know, thinking 25 clowns in a Hyundai or something would be a cute little photo to go with this post.

You know what I found? A whole mess of images labeled "Vagina". No kidding. You know why? Because all of the images are in reference to the Duggars and OctoMom. I mean, I was looking for an innocent image of a bunch of clowns coming out of a VW Beetle or something and all I get are photos with a big ol' "V" plastered on them.

And you wonder why society is going down the toilet. Oh well, you'll hear more about the Easter egg hunt tomorrow, I guess. I have to get this bad taste out of my mouth.

Strange(r) Parenting: There's an app for that ...

Just recently I got my baby back. Granted, it came with the provision that I get a new baby for my wife, but it was a small price to pay to once again be connected to the world I once knew.

One of the things I loved about my iPhone when I first got one nearly a year ago was that it wasn't just a new toy, but it was my toy. Facebook, Twitter, FourSquare, Skype. Had'em all on the iPhone before we had them on the laptop at home. Now, though, that toy with all those fun gadgets has become ... mainstream.

I mean, everyone and their mother (well, not my mother) has an iPhone. And it's the moms and dads that are using these things -- and the evidence is in the apps.

If you haven't seen, parenting apps are all the rage. Need a baby monitor? There's an app for that. Are you a new parent who wants to know how many poopie diapers you changed last week? There's an app for that. Want to keep track of your nursing sessions for some ungodly reason? There's an app for that. Are you an annoying list making mother who constantly needs to know what to bring anywhere you go with your baby Michelle? There's an app for that.

What's next? I've heard rumors of an app that will actually tell you what your baby's cooing means. I've heard of rumors of an app that will diagnose your child's symptoms and recommend a course of action. I've even heard of an app that automatically alerts Angelina Jolie when a child is born so that she can start the adoption process.

Strange(r) Fairy Tale Endings

Normally I don't pass email Fwd: along, but this isn't like normal Fwd: messages. I have to give the credit to good ol' Aunt Jo Ann, since she sends about 250,000 a dozen of these each week, this one in the latest batch.

Without further adieu, your Strange(r) Fairy Tale Endings:

"Cinderella"

"Snow White"

"Little Red Riding Hood"

"Sleeping Beauty"

"Aladdin"

"Beauty and the Beast"

"The Little Mermaid"

The Epitome of Strange(r) is Michelle Writing This Blog…

Let me introduce myself, my name is Michelle and for those that know me and know the truth, you know that I am among many other things the “Rock” behind “Growing Up Kaitlyn”. For without me, there would be no Kaitlyn!

You may be wondering why I am writing this blog today and I’m sad to say that I have officially infected the house with my germs and James is feeling so bad that he can’t bring himself to brag about Kaitlyn, I mean blog about his angel…so you know he must really feel bad. He called me begging me to write something so that he could keep up with this whole “Strange(r) Challenge” – which for the official record, I do NOT understand and think this blog should be 78% about Kaitlyn and 22% about me, but hey, what do I know? But before I continue I would like to use this opportunity to apologize to my dear husband for spreading my germs, despite my best effort to keep this house sterilized because I know how crappy I felt for the last week.

It didn’t take me long to figure out what I was going to write about once the begging was over so I hope that you enjoy and it provides you with a glimpse into my heart– please remember that I was not an English major like James so spellin an grammer didn’t count.

The Top Ten Reason’s I love my Husband… (there really is no particular order for these except #1)

10. James understands how important my job and the teens I work with everyday are to me. He has moved more boxes, served countless pieces of pizza, and attended more TRU events then any spouse should have to.

9. As you have read in a previous post, James knows that loving me, means loving Teddy. And I would like to point out, that in the almost 9 years we have been together, he has never once hung Teddy by his neck on our ceiling fan like some of my friends…you know who you are LD, ER, MR, SS

8. He still gives me butterflies in my tummy, even if he is going gray and has the cholesterol levels of an 84 year old man.

7. He only makes fun of me once and a while for watching new and old episodes of Beverly Hills 90210, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, 16 and Pregnant, Keeping Up with The Kardashians, and every other teen drama and stupid reality show out there. In fact he even bought me “the Newlyeweds” series – that’s right Nick and Jessica forever and he has been known to hum along to the theme music to 90210.

6. James knows how important my family (which includes his family whom I love dearly even if I don’t write or call and tell them that enough)and friends are to me. He knows that when I get around some of them, I revert to being fifteen and while it annoys him sometimes, I know that it makes him happy to see me so happy. What can I say, “once a nudge, always a nudge!”

5. James LOVES to shop as much as I do. He is the crazy fool you see in line at 3am on Black Friday. Doesn’t matter if it is for t-shirts, video games, furniture, or groceries…he’s there with me and is always there with his opinion. Does this surprise any of you?

4. I don’t need to impress him, although he may not realize that I still like to try sometimes. He doesn’t care that I wear shorts and a t-shirt to bed, that my legs aren’t shaved or that I can eat my weight in ice cream (with sprinkles of course) he thinks I’m beautiful no matter what.

3. He knows that traditions are so important to me, probably more than they should be and he knows that it is important that we pass traditions on to Kaitlyn. He happily reads the “Night Before Christmas” on Christmas Eve with me, celebrates “Peanut’s Day” (Kaitlyn’s half birthday) and carves pumpkins without any begging on my part.

2. He makes me laugh. Granted, sometimes I am laughing at him, but does it really matter since I’m still laughing? (Smiling…Not Smiling ;)

1. He gave me the greatest gift in the world, my beautiful daughter Kaitlyn Riley. I watch him with her and sometimes I start to well up with tears, because of the love he has for her. They have such a special bond and all of us, including Boo are happy to call him “daddy”.

My dear James, in case I don’t tell you enough I love you, always and forever…

Strange(r) Days: The End Is the Beginning Is the End

Sometimes a couch isn't just a couch. You don't know because only I know. If you knew and I didn't know, then you'd be teaching me instead of me teaching you - and for a student to be teaching his teacher is presumptuous and rude. Do I make myself clear?

You might be wondering why we're here talking about a Pottery Barn sleeper couch. But this isn't just any couch. This couch has been part of this family's life since the beginning. It was a perfect gift, since we couldn't have afforded it if we went to buy it ourselves. It's made its way from New Jersey to North Carolina, High Point to Greensboro to the B.F.E. Whitsett.

It's seen plenty of visitor's rumps and bumps, had overnight guests from Florida, New Jersey, Virginia, California and I even think Maryland. Maybe it was D.C., but potato, potatoe.

I had my nights on the couch for illness, late-night sleeplessness and pregnant-belly-taking-up-my-side-of-the-bed. But not fighting; never go to bed angry, Michelle says. So no fighting nights for you, couch.

You've been good to us, couch, but we've been good to you. Even bought you a new slip cover especially made for you and your kind. Gave us a heart attack to see how much regular price actually costs (thanks, Pottery Barn), but luckily we found one on deep discount. You've worn it nicely ever since.

But today we found a chink in the armor. After a night on the couch (illness on Michelle's part), I went to fold you back up. You wouldn't fold back in. Finally I saw that the steel leg that folds back into the couch has snapped, hanging there off the frame. I was able to fold it in and get the couch back to normal, but is there ever a "normal" for a broken sleeper couch?

Strange(r) Than Fiction: Depressing News

Came home from work today and looked at the top news stories on the local newspaper's Web site. Here are three of the top six headlines:

"Man charged with taking indecent liberties with a child"

"Man wanted in rape of 6-year-old girl"

"Stokesdale man to spend up to 131 years in prison for raping teen"

I didn't even stay to read the rest of the newspaper. And normally I hyperlink stories when I find them, but I'm a little to depressed after reading those headline.

Hug your child.

In Pictures: Strange(r) Days Before Motherhood

Michelle always tells me that I missed her in her prime. I don't necessarily know what that means, considering she's pretty good now. Maybe she didn't nag or complain as much back then. Maybe she had friends on the Swedish Bikini Team. I don't know.

While we can't go back in time to relive those days (unless we're John Cusack, which we aren't), we are very fortunate that Michelle loves pictures so much she keeps them. Forever. So instead of just wondering what it might have been like, we can actually see what it might have been like.

And as I write this, I sorta kinda think I should have done this on my last day of NaBloPoMo, since Michelle actual might kill me once she sees this post. Pray for me.

Take note of the leather bomber jacket. 

If you look real closely, you can see the socks bunching around the ankles. That was the style back then, kids.

Nothing screams sexy like floral print sundresses with t-shirts underneath. 

Nothing Strange(r) Going on Today

Okay, so sue me: Today wasn't really a strange day. No unexpected run-ins with people. No crazy events in our day-to-day activities. Nothing strange(r). Or strange, for that matter.

I have to be honest -- I don't know how people stay on this topic and keep with their typical blogging themes. If I really wanted to stay on topic, I could throw out some strange news headlines and whatnot, but I promised myself I would only do that once a week and that comes on Mondays.

I tried to wait all day long for something strange(r) to happen that I could blog about. I mean, we took Kaitlyn shopping in the morning. Nothing. We brought her for a walk pre-nap. Nothing. We took her to a friggin' Revolutionary (not Civil, even though my wife thought so) War re-enactment. You'd think you could find something strange(r) there. But besides the $4.50 price tag for bread and cheese (where are we, Russia?), there was nothing.

Uncle Art and Aunt Kari's for dinner with little Lily? Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. I mean, there was a little bit of playing with beer caps, but nothing crazy. Fact is, this blog is about Kaitlyn. The things she does, the things she drives us to do. How we deal with parenthood on a daily basis and how there's nothing else we want than the hug she provides each day we pick her up from daycare.

Something Sometimes there are truly strange things that happen. Other days are like today -- a little hairy at times, but nothing strange or unexpected. And while we like to joke and make fun of the times that make us laugh, it's days like today that are some of the best.

In Pictures: Kaitlyn's Strange(r) Times

I've been thinking, which is always dangerous: This blog has only been around since October (actually September, but it was only one day. I tend to think of that as the beginning of labor, but the real pushing ended October 1).

Taking that into account, I realize many of you never saw Kaitlyn 1.0, or what you could dub "The Quiet Year(s)". So I'm here to oblige with some of the strange(r) moments, pre-Growing Up Kaitlyn:

March 2008: Kaitlyn reads for the role of Mother Teresa in "Calcutta: The Musical!"

June 2008: They might look cool, but did you know they're actually made for dogs? Thanks, Nana

September 2008: Killer dog! Killer dog!

December 2008: Gene Simmons, eat your heart out

February 2009: Kaitlyn shows that her CPR training is paying off by checking her friend Lily's pulse

Strange(r) Danger: Over-Concerned Mothers

Dirty looks are counterproductive most of the time. I mean, sure, you can occasionally get away with one and have your message conveyed properly, but most of the time it’s just annoying and makes me want to get up and smack that look off your face. Especially when it comes from a total strange(r).

Case in point: This past weekend, we took our houseguests to the Natural Science Center. During our excursion, we wandered into a part of the museum that had dinosaur-themed activities – two giant dino-bones puzzles, a play table with dinosaur toys for the little ones, a maze and some dino cut-outs that you poke your head in and take pictures. They also had a small triceratops that your lil’ ones could sit on.

Kaitlyn makes a B line to the triceratops because she loves her riding toys. Like any good dad, I’ve got camera in-hand waiting to take a picture. She lifts herself up onto this thing and does a pretty darn good job. Unfortunately, gravity gets the best of her and she plummets over the dino’s back and lands on the carpeted floor on the other side. And, like a good dad, I laugh and take a picture mid-fall (see right). Kaitlyn dusts herself off and goes right back to climbing this prehistoric toy.

End of story, right? Well, once Kaitlyn went ker-plat, this over-concerned pain in the ass woman ran over to Kaitlyn as if she was on fire. She leaned over my daughter to pick her up, but Kaitlyn was already halfway there and started back to the other side of the dino to try again. Between giggles, I thanked the woman for her concern. Nice dad, right?

Apparently not. The pain in the ass woman shot me the dirtiest of dirty looks and walked away. Throughout the rest of our time in the dino room, this woman gave me looks I thought were reserved for the likes of Hitler, Kim Jong-Ill and Rush. It was like I was John Mayer at an NAACP rally.

Now for all your over-concerned pain in the ass moms out there, I get it. You’re so caught up in the Oh my baby’s gonna die if they eat that peanut mentality that it shocks you someone might actually let their kid play on a toy dinosaur and get a bump on the head. That’s fine; swaddle your child.

But please, leave my kid out of it. If Kaitlyn falls of the dinosaur and something is actually wrong, I promise I'll put the camera down. If she skins her knee, she'll cry for a moment and then go right back to playing. Thanks for calling 911, but we don't need a medic for a scab.

And don't blame it on motherly instincts. Michelle was standing right next to me and laughed. Let Kaitlyn get right back up herself. You know why? Because nothing was wrong.

So over-concerned pain in the ass woman from the Natural Science Center on Saturday morning: don't pass judgment on me for letting my kid fall down. I don't criticize you for whipping your boob out to feed your eight-year-old, do I? Well, if you did that I probably would, but c'mon. There are better ways. Haven't you seen the breast milk cheese?

Strange(r) Things in Life: Pork Roll

There are few things strange(r) in life than one of the foods that brings such joy into my life: Pork Roll.

Now I understand that there are probably a few of you who have never heard of pork roll. Without using the phrase "little drops of heaven," there's no accurate description of Pork Roll. I mean, Wikipedia doesn't even know how to write about it:

Although the product is widely consumed and enjoyed, it resists accurate description. Some people compare the taste and/or texture to SPAM, Treet, bologna, mild salami, smoked summer sausage, or US-style Canadian bacon. In 1910 it was described as "a food article made of pork, packed in a cylindrical cotton sack or bag in such form that it could be quickly prepared for cooking by slicing without removal from the bag."

I've personally heard more accurate descriptions of Osama bin Laden's whereabouts, but that's neither here nor there. The fact of the matter is that once you take a bite into a perfectly grilled Pork Roll, Egg and Cheese on a Hard Roll (which means Kaiser Roll, people) with deli mustard, you haven't really lived. It's sort of like an initiation into true dining.

I mean, between a porker at Rice's, a Fat Knight from the Grease trucks, a large light and sweet at DD, a sausage pie from Chitch's and a sack full of burgers and rings at White Castle, there's a true New Jersey foodie lesson plan.

So today I salute you, Pork Roll. A strange(r) food, no doubt. A more delicious food, there may not be one.

Strange(r) Than Fiction: Real Idiots

The latest from the Strange(r) Than Fiction file:

• Police have arrested a South Korean couple whose toddler starved to death while they were raising a virtual child online, authorities said. The couple fed their 3-month-old daughter once a day between marathon stretches in a local Internet cafe, where they were raising a virtual child in the fantasy role-playing game Prius Online, police told local reporters Friday.
• A 2-year-old boy who suffered third-degree burns on his upper body after igniting his clothes with a lighter remains in UNC Hospitals Jaycee Burn Center in Chapel Hill. According to warrants, the child lit himself on fire with a lighter after his parents allegedly smoked marijuana.
• The North Metro Task Force says an 11-year-old boy shot himself in the foot after his father used him to guard a medical- marijuana operation. "I think the 11- year-old was protecting the marijuana grow," said task force spokesman Jerry Peters. "It's a lucrative business."

Strange(r)s Among Us, Part II

So here we are, 9:46 p.m. on Saturday, barely made it to beat the NaBloPoMo deadline. And yes, our strangers are still here and happy.

Aunt Laura and Uncle Todd, strangers to Kaitlyn, are holding up pretty well with two toddlers running around the house. And for two people whom never met my daughter, she's taken a liking to them quite quickly.

We've shown our strangers around Greensboro, brought them to the Natural Science Center, ate real North Carolina barbecue and bought some good cigars. It's been a true southern vacation.

Now we're sitting around the house and the guys are listening to the girls talk about the first love of their life, as if they never left Sweet 16. Quite disturbing, I must say.

Strange(r)s Among Us, Part I

Parents try to keep strangers away from their children. Michelle and I, on the other hand, are welcoming two into our house today.

Aunt Laura and Uncle Todd are making their way to North Carolina today to visit Michelle and I (for the first time). And, of course, Kaitlyn (for the first time). And Aunt Erin is coming back to North Carolina for her third trip, but this time she'll be bring her little bundle of joy, Emma.

Yup, you counted that right, four house guests for the next three days -- including two strange(r)s. At least this will give me a little bit of fodder to stay on topic for the weekend.

And just so you don't feel cheated because this is a short post, I've arranged a short video for you. On topic, of course. Enjoy:

Strange(r) Things on the Web: Chatroulette

As I said in my intro to NaBloPoMo, strange(r) is a topic that we as parents are always concerned with. Case in point: Chatroulette.

If you haven't heard about this yet, you likely will very, very soon. Chatroulette, as described by the Associated Press, "randomly links users with strangers who could be anywhere in the world. If you don't like the person who pops up on the screen, just click 'Next.' Repeat." And it was built by a 17-year-old from Russia.

Think of it as channel surfing, except with real people. Everyone's got a webcam, so you're essentially peeking in on people at random times. Its equal parts chatroom, Facebook and voyeurism. And that's where the problems begin.

You see, for every quirky techno-geek you may find singing a song about apples ala Randy Newman, you can also find yourself face-to-face with a perv who could be introducing you to his "lil' buddy." Pretty scary stuff, huh? That's what experts like Dr. Keith Ablow are saying about Chatroulette:

Parents should keep all children off the site because it's much too dangerous for children. It's a predator's paradise. This is one of the worst faces of the Internet that I've seen. It's disconnecting human relationships rather than connecting them.

Or how about Ernie Allen, president of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children:

(It's) a huge red flag. This is extreme social networking. Absolutely random. No limits. Graphic sexual content. This is the last place parents want their kids to be ... A lot of kids are doing it in groups because they find it funny ... But you want to talk to them about what they're seeing, because who does that? Who just exposes themselves to a webcam and then waits for a pervert to come along?

Who indeed.

Strange(r) things in daycare

I have been bringing Kaitlyn to the Big Girl Class at daycare for a little more than a month now. She actually loves it – she sees friends from her former toddler classroom, latches on to them and plays to her heart’s content. There are new toys and some new kids, especially boys (keep your grubby hands off her, boys. You’re not too young to get a smackdown from Daddy).

But one thing I am noticing is the prevalence of strange (ha! NaBloPoMo topic covered!) behaviors not from the kids, but the parents. I don’t profess to be the best parent, but I think I’m on the right track. And I’m sure you know how best to raise your own kid, but I’m allowed to shake my head at some of the things I see going on, right? For example:

• I do think that it’s a little too early to be giving your 24-36 month old Biscuitville for breakfast every morning. Once in a while treat, especially on weekends? Cool. But having a sausage and egg biscuit each day is a slippery slope, is it not?
• Long car trips almost require a DVD player to keep the tikes’ attention away from the seemingly never-ending confinement. I get that and have even used that tactic. Tinker Bell has saved me once or twice. But to use the DVD player for the five or ten minutes it takes to drive your kid to daycare?
• Can we wait until, say, the sixth grade to begin hawking wrapping paper, cookie dough and other fundraising items? I promise not to do it if you don’t. And on a side note: If I do buy from you because your kid is too lazy to walk around and ask for himself/herself your teenager, you darn well better buy from my kid.
• The classroom is having a holiday party (Valentine’s, Christmas, Arbor Day, whatever). A pack of mini cupcakes is $2.39 plus tax. A jug of apple juice is $3.49 plus tax. Holiday plates and napkins can be had at any dollar store in the country. I was semi-retired and still got my kid’s class a snack. We’re all contributing. Do your part.

NaBloPoMo - Say It Five Times Fast

So now that I got some linkjuice love, I decided it's time to give all eight of those visitors something to come back to. Thanks MaryMac, you've officially made this whole blogging thing work.

So I welcome you to my attempt at NaBloPoMo; it's not just fun to say, but it's fun to do, too! Basically, it's sort of a blogging test - post once a day for an entire month. Plus, stay on topic. Because heck, anyone could write something about anything for 30 days; the trick is to stay on topic for each of those posts. Especially when the topic doesn't closely resemble anything your blog is about.

This month's topic is: Strange(r), which could mean anything from writing about random people you come across every day to odd things that you see on your drive to work to different (i.e. "strange") Web sites you come across daily (see how we played on the word a bit to stretch the topic? You know you're in the presence of a writer).

Being a parenting blog, I don't really think Strange(r) is a topic that meshes well. I mean, we tell our kids not to talk to strangers, not to eat strange foods, not to stick your finger there and a bunch of other NOTs related to strangeness. So this could be an interesting month.

Wish me luck. 30 blogs in 30 days, starting today. Enjoy it while it lasts.