11 March 2010

Strange(r) Danger: Over-Concerned Mothers

Dirty looks are counterproductive most of the time. I mean, sure, you can occasionally get away with one and have your message conveyed properly, but most of the time it’s just annoying and makes me want to get up and smack that look off your face. Especially when it comes from a total strange(r).

Case in point: This past weekend, we took our houseguests to the Natural Science Center. During our excursion, we wandered into a part of the museum that had dinosaur-themed activities – two giant dino-bones puzzles, a play table with dinosaur toys for the little ones, a maze and some dino cut-outs that you poke your head in and take pictures. They also had a small triceratops that your lil’ ones could sit on.

Kaitlyn makes a B line to the triceratops because she loves her riding toys. Like any good dad, I’ve got camera in-hand waiting to take a picture. She lifts herself up onto this thing and does a pretty darn good job. Unfortunately, gravity gets the best of her and she plummets over the dino’s back and lands on the carpeted floor on the other side. And, like a good dad, I laugh and take a picture mid-fall (see right). Kaitlyn dusts herself off and goes right back to climbing this prehistoric toy.

End of story, right? Well, once Kaitlyn went ker-plat, this over-concerned pain in the ass woman ran over to Kaitlyn as if she was on fire. She leaned over my daughter to pick her up, but Kaitlyn was already halfway there and started back to the other side of the dino to try again. Between giggles, I thanked the woman for her concern. Nice dad, right?

Apparently not. The pain in the ass woman shot me the dirtiest of dirty looks and walked away. Throughout the rest of our time in the dino room, this woman gave me looks I thought were reserved for the likes of Hitler, Kim Jong-Ill and Rush. It was like I was John Mayer at an NAACP rally.

Now for all your over-concerned pain in the ass moms out there, I get it. You’re so caught up in the Oh my baby’s gonna die if they eat that peanut mentality that it shocks you someone might actually let their kid play on a toy dinosaur and get a bump on the head. That’s fine; swaddle your child.

But please, leave my kid out of it. If Kaitlyn falls of the dinosaur and something is actually wrong, I promise I'll put the camera down. If she skins her knee, she'll cry for a moment and then go right back to playing. Thanks for calling 911, but we don't need a medic for a scab.

And don't blame it on motherly instincts. Michelle was standing right next to me and laughed. Let Kaitlyn get right back up herself. You know why? Because nothing was wrong.

So over-concerned pain in the ass woman from the Natural Science Center on Saturday morning: don't pass judgment on me for letting my kid fall down. I don't criticize you for whipping your boob out to feed your eight-year-old, do I? Well, if you did that I probably would, but c'mon. There are better ways. Haven't you seen the breast milk cheese?

1 comment:

  1. You horrible horrible man. Letting a child grow up all on her own.