An Open Letter to RDU

Dear Raleigh-Durham International Airport:

I like you, but I don't love you. I sort of view you as the Mistress of airports. You're airport-sexy thanks to low airfares from Southwest. And I like you enough to keep you around for a while, even for non-Southwest flights. Your name even rolls off the tongue. RDU. A lot sexier than PTIA or Charlotte-Douglas. Eh.

But I can't commit to you because of your flaws. And there are lots of them. And the more I see them, the more I know you're not the one for me. For instance:

• You think more highly of yourself than others think of you. When I can find a cheaper flight to places like New York and Las Vegas from Greensboro, you're kidding yourself. And that's even including Southwest.
• And speaking of Southwest, they're your bread and butter. Treat them like it. If Southwest bolted for someplace else, you'd be nothing more than the PTIA of the state capitol. Provide Southwest passengers some love, like a covered walkway from the parking lot to the Southwest terminal without having to trek two miles with your luggage.
• For a "major" airport, you have no amenities. Pre-security checkpoint, you've got a chapel the size of a tack and a vending machine for flowers. That's it. Post-security checkpoint, I can either get a week-old turkey sandwich in plastic or a weak cup of coffee. Work on this. Pronto.
• Your customer service is pathetic. Here's the deal: If my car needs a jump, I should be able to find a security guard and have them juice the ol' girl. Nope. Gotta call AAA, which promptly comes and takes care of business. Then, thanks to your stupid ExitExpress program, I actually get charged more when exiting the airport because I was over the allotted time to exit the airport. Here's a hint: If someone has to get their car jumped, spare them the extra two bucks. They've been through enough.

You've got a lot going for you, RDU. I like you, might even be so bold as to say that I like you a lot. But like any mistress, you've got baggage. You want me to commit to you, but are you really better than PTIA? Without Southwest and the rapping flight attendant, I don't think so.

I just flew in from Miami and boy are my arms tired

It's been a whirlwind week, hence not so much as a squeak from my on social media. There were some random Tweets, but half of you probably haven't a clue that I have a Twitter account; one-quarter probably don't know how to use Twitter; the final 1/4 of you don't know what I'm talking about.

For the last six days, I was attending the Market America World Conference in Miami. It was a bit weird being away from Michelle and Kaitlyn for a full six days. And to think, I head back to Florida in 10 days. But more on that in the coming days.

So I had this great idea for today's post where I was going to share some of the texts exchanged between Michelle and I during the week. There were some classic ones in there, too. One was about Kaitlyn crying because YaYa and Pop-Pop were going to watch Boo for the week. Another was about Kaitlyn waking up and not seeing me in bed.

Problem is, I had to delete all of my messages because my memory was full in the cell phone. I figured Michelle would have her messages saved since she doesn't normally delete anything from her phone until it's 100 percent full. Unfortunately, Michelle hit that mark and deleted all her messages, too.

Instead, here's a short list of the things I learned while in Miami:

• Don't order a Cuban sandwich at the American Airlines Arena. Apparently their version is turkey and ham on a hard baguette with banana peppers and a not-so-appetizing spread. That's $12 I'll never get back.
• The Hilton Serenity mattresses and pillows make being away from home bearable. Those things are heaven.
• Seventy-five degrees and sunny is perfect weather in Miami, as long as you're able to enjoy it outside. Otherwise, it's just a tease. 
• I always thought the whole "Asians take lots of pictures" statement was a gross stereotype. Boy, was I wrong.
• Some celebrities look hot on camera and when you see them in person, you're sort of like, "Oh, she's not really that hot." Eva Longoria is not that type of celebrity.  
• I understand that the people of Miami are all about form-fitting clothes. But some people's form doesn't fit their clothes.

In Pictures: 'Cause I'm back from Lazy-Land, Part I

As you may have noticed, I've shirked my blogging responsibilities for the past couple of days. I don't know whether it was the Turnpike air or the pork roll, but I was lax in my duties.

Actually, as silly as it sounds, I really didn't like my parents' keyboard. Call me a computer snob, but I'm sorta used to the clunky Toshiba laptop I'm typing away on, and since the 'rents don't have WiFi (the horror!), I was relegated to either lugging the laptop to a Starbucks (never!) or writing on a foreign keyboard. So basically I cut the Internet time and drank it away at my old haunts spent it with my family, especially Kaitlyn.

When I last left you, I was prepping for a trip to the Crayola Factory. It was pretty sweet, as you will see. Since I'm still recovering a bit and I need blog fodder for the next week or so my creative juices have yet to recover from the 540-mile trek from Jersey back to North Carolina, I'm giving you some quick highlights from the trip. More to come in the days ahead.

Kaitlyn had no problem with the giant crayon she encountered, however Mommy was a little more frightening on this day.

As you may notice from the above pictures, Kaitlyn is a bit of a fan when it comes to arts and crafts. Her artwork will be prominently displayed in the Louvre, the National Gallery and, of course, the refrigerator.

This is our wonderful Aunt Jo Ann. She didn't know I was taking this picture. She didn't know I was posting this picture. She might not like me so much after posting this picture. This is our wonderful, wonderful Aunt Jo Ann.

While many of you (okay, all five readers of Growing Up Kaitlyn) know about YaYa, you have yet to be properly introduced to Nana. This is Nana, with an apple turnover the size of a manhole cover from Harold's. She didn't eat the whole thing. At least not in one sitting. 

Greetings from Somerset Run

So I've been a little incognito the last few days, putting the finishing touches on my trip to the Home Planet, which has meant lots of packing, lots of cleaning (house and car) and lots of hair spray (to fit in, you know?).

If you've been following along, you know I've been dreading this trip, especially the whole getting to and fro part. Luckily, Kaitlyn was a saint, traffic and cops were non-existent and Michelle's bladder amazingly expanded to allow for limited stoppage. Long story short, House-to-House lasted a mere eight hours and change. Cha-ching.

So we made it in Tuesday night and did the whole sit around and catch up with the Nana and Pop-Pop, who gave the whole "We're glad to see you and Kaitlyn, but it's really past our bedtime and we can just do all this tomorrow at IHOP, right?" look. So Michelle, Kaitlyn and I kept them up for another two or three hours for gits and shiggles.

So on Wednesday, while Michelle and Kaitlyn criss-crossed Central Jersey to meet up with the women-folk, I grabbed my father and headed out to play a round of golf in that sub-50 degree weather. And by the way, who ordered the friggin' wind? He tried to wimp out on me before leaving, saying "I don't play in the rain" or something of the sort, but all I heard was "wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa" and it wasn't from Kaitlyn. I told him to grow a set and we made it around Fiddler's Elbow.

Nothing major going on with this post, just a little update since I haven't checked in for days. You'll get some later, including pics, since we're bringing Kaitlyn to the Crayola Factory on Thursday. Later, all.

On the Road Again: New Jersey-bound

It's November. It's 70 degrees here in the Land of Kaitlyn. We're broke. What better time to take a road trip to 45-degree New Jersey!?!

Well, that's actually not fair. Michelle's sister is prego and her baby shower is next weekend. So we knew Michelle was headed up to The Garden State with or without me. For Michelle, this is (hopefully) the last leg of a whirlwind schedule that has seen her travel to Wisconsin for a conference and head on overnights for work, not including the redonkulous amount of hours she's been putting in.

So as the NJ trip got closer, Michelle started getting a sinking feeling. The one where she doesn't want to leave her child for an extended period of time. Again. You see, YaYa wasn't taking Kaitlyn. Too much stuff in the car. Taking Kaitlyn adds "X" amount of hours to the trip. There will be too many people in your sister's house, which, by the way, isn't baby-proofed. 

All good arguments. Plus, I didn't want to go. Nothing against anybody, but I just hate driving the nine-plus hours, adding an extra day because we inevitably stop halfway to see Michelle's friends in Maryland, running around because we have to see everyone and Michelle can't say no to anyone. Plus, we pay the daycare whether Kaitlyn's there or not. And if she's not there, it throws Kaitlyn so further off course than a Northwest pilot. So she starts the hard sell to get me to go, as well.

"Wouldn't it be great to see your family again and for Kaitlyn to see Nana and Pop-Pop?" Translation: I don't want to stay at my sister's with everyone else, plus YaYa won't let Kaitlyn stay there even if she was allowing her to go. So I need a place to crash.

"Since we're not going up for the holidays, this would be a great chance to see everyone." Translation: I have Christmas gifts I don't want to spend the postage on, plus I want to make sure I can tell everyone exactly what to get me for Christmas so I get something good.

"You don't have a job anyway, so wouldn't it be nice to spend some time with your family?" Translation: You don't have a job anyway, plus I need you and your car to see the girls since I hate driving.

"Maybe my father and brother can get you a ticket to the Jets game." Translation: I know that I'm fighting a losing battle here, so I will attempt to bribe you with football and beer.

This goes on for days and Michelle is losing. But finally, as we were in Babies-R-Us checking out shower gifts, Michelle gives me a look like, I don't want to do this alone. Crap.

So the decision was made, the calls were placed and I'm now headed to New Jersey for seven days of Family Fun Time. I've already laid down some ground rules, but knowing my wife, none of these will actually be followed because she doesn't listen to a damn word I say. Remember? I wasn't even supposed to be going to New Jersey? How did that turn out?

1. I'm not running all around the state to see people. If they're local or I choose to see them, fine. Otherwise, they will make their way to the Somerset section of Franklin.
2. I am going to the GreaseTrucks at least once during this trip. I haven't been on any of the previous trips because Michelle finds my eating habits appalling. This time, game on.
3. We're driving straight through. This was a bit of a battle, but this is the plan since I don't want to pull Kaitlyn in-and-out of the car and get her thinking, In the car, again? Better to get it knocked out at one time. Now only if I was able to get Michelle to drive through the night when Kaitlyn was asleep, we'd be golden.

So on Tuesday we're off to the Garden State for some Family Fun Time. And already, the week is being filled with family dinners, get-togethers and errands. So much for not running around. Two out of Three ain't bad, I guess.

Suggestions on where Kaitlyn's Excellent New Jersey Adventure should take here? Comment below.