Double the Children, Double the Fun

For those of you who read the title of this post and thought of sending congratulatory emails, presents and phone calls, you'll be disappointed. You can still send gifts if you want, but there's no bun in the oven.

You see, a couple weeks back we took Kaitlyn's buddy, Declan, out for a couple hours. Mom and Dad Donaghue were packing up the house to prepare for their big move, so having Declan out and about for a couple hours was a big help.

So Michelle and I called upon old reliable to keep the kids occupied -- The Natural Science Center of Greensboro.

Yes, that is a big blue frog Kaitlyn is sitting on. 

I don't know whether she's holding on for dear life or copping a feel. I do know she's smiling, if that provides a clue.

Declan is either staring at the monkey, or at the zoo keeper throwing food from the wrong side of the net. Stupid zoo keeper.

This is the angle I saw Michelle and Kaitlyn the entire time at the Science Center. That's because Declan moseys. How slow is Declan? I took with picture with the zoom all the way out.

Kaitlyn tried to feed Declan the entire time. I don't know why she treated him like one of her dolls. I do know he didn't seem to mind.

Brushing the goat. Took Declan a bit to warm up, but he eventually helped. Side note: See that little beard on the goat? They don't like it when you yank on it.

Halloween, Part II: Fun with Photoshop

So on most days around this time, one of us would be on our way to pick up Kaitlyn from daycare so that we'd have a little family time before dinner. Maybe go for a walk around the neighborhood. Maybe blow bubbles.

But today, oh glorious day, Kaitlyn is in Mebane. You see, YaYa and Pop-Pop are playing babysitter tonight, leaving Michelle and I on our lonesome to head to a leave-the-rugrats-at-home adults-only Halloween party.

It's a toga party, as if you couldn't tell by the large image to your right. Now, I have a confession to make: I never made it to a toga party in college. Never had a crazy frat at the podunk small college I attended that threw such parties. The nearby university probably had them, but I never went. You see, my reasoning for not toga-ing (?!?) is the same reason I don't feel I'd be the best person to showcase ink: I'm a skinny bitch.

No, really. Like Ichabod Crane skinny. Olive Oyl skinny. I truly am all skin and bone. Not that I haven't tried gaining weight before. Just melts right off me. Don't worry, ladies: I'm a douche, I know. My wife tells me that every time I talk about anything weight-related.

So when it comes to putting some tats on my arm or wearing an outfit that supposedly "showcases" my physique, I usually pass. I mean, I don't like looking at my skinny ass; sure as hell know no one else does. Unfortunately, I don't have a choice. The hosts have laid down the law: No toga, no party.

Therefore, I must attempt to hold my head high and send off the aura that I look friggin' hot in a toga. Image is everything, the saying goes. Granted the person who said that is now saying his hair was fake, but I digress.

So in my head, I'm looking like this:

When we all know I probably look more like this:

Crying babies = birth control for non-parents

It's not typical for Michelle and I to get a babysitter and go out for an evening. I think I can count on one hand the number of times we asked for such a reprieve from Kaitlyn. Those times we have done so, family and friends have stepped up to the plate so we didn't have to shell out ducats for the privilege of shelling out more ducats.

Friends like Aunt Shannon.

Wonderful Aunt Shannon, one of the first people at the hospital when Kaitlyn was born, who watched Boo for a week only minutes hours days after meeting me and Michelle, who cooks some mean chicken cheese steaks and kindly invites us to dinner. Wonderful Aunt Shannon.

Kaitlyn loves her some Aunt Shannon. Always points out Aunt Shannon's house on walks. Always a hug for Aunt Shannon. One of Kaitlyn's first words was "Dutch," an abbreviated "Dutchess," which is Aunt Shannon's dog.

There was a surprise party last night for one of our neighbors, Kim, who turned 30. We asked Aunt Shannon if she could watch Kaitlyn for a bit so we could make an appearance. Aunt Shannon, always willing to help, said sure. So around 7:30 pm, Aunt Shannon and Dutchess came by.

Okay, before we go any further: Rewind to earlier that same day. I pick up Kaitlyn from daycare. I read her progress report sheet for the day. Little bit of a temperature, but nothing out of the ordinary. Ate great, go figure. Nap Time: 11:55 am - 12:30 pm.

WHA?!?!???! Oh this can't be right, I say to the teacher. Yes, she replies. And she knows this to be correct because at half-past noon when Kaitlyn stirred, she was so loud that she woke the rest of the room up, causing no one to get a true nap time in. When Kaitlyn ain't happy, nobody's happy.

I knew this would lead to one of two scenarios: The first, Kaitlyn would crash early and Aunt Shannon would have the easiest of easy nights. The second, well ...

At 8:30 pm, while at the party, Michelle's phone rings. She picks it up.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

I still don't know whether that sound came from Kaitlyn or Aunt Shannon. All I know is party over, time to go. We walk in our front door and there she is: a scared, tired and shaking girl, looking like someone just crushed all her hopes and dreams. Her eyes, so wide and empty. She didn't know what was going on.

And there was Kaitlyn, too.

Apparently our little girl was so tired she had a meltdown, which is Scenario #2. I know I didn't have to tell you that, but I probably should have told Aunt Shannon that. I tried every soothing technique that I know, Aunt Shannon assured us. Nothing.

I take Kaitlyn and lay on the floor, stroking her back to calm her down. She eventually rests her head on my shoulder and falls back asleep in mere minutes. Michelle takes Aunt Shannon and sits on the couch, stroking her back to calm her down. She eventually rests her head on the cushion and lets out a sigh, ready to head home.

Aunt Shannon loves her some Kaitlyn, but this night was a little rough on her. Jokingly, I tell Aunt Shannon she's more than welcome to keep Kaitlyn when Michelle and I go up to New Jersey in the coming weeks. Instead of watching Boo, she can watch Kaitlyn and we'll take the dog with us.

No, she said definitively. That's all the birth control I need right there.